Emptiness

What's the focus? What's the pain?

What part of me has now been slain?

I know something's missing because I feel lighter

Yet it isn't something bad because my world did not get brighter

There's a hole inside my soul

It's a void that can't be filled

Like my heart was tortured then very slowly killed

Like all the things you take for granted until you find them gone

I know the symptoms well but I can never find what's wrong

Sitting here, I wonder why the answer hides from me...

Every time I think I'm close I can only watch it flee

What have I failed to do in order to live my life?

They keep saying I can never appreciate joy without a little strife

It's like how a teaspoon a day will keep the doctor away

You're only allowed a little happiness to make it through the grey

If instead of cherish, you let something slip through the cracks,

You will spend the rest of your days wishing you could have it back

There is no moral to this story

It's just the musings of a tattered spirit

But don't ever tell me "If I could only do it over" because I don't want to hear it

I'm always looking back and I'm afraid to look ahead

I better focus on the here and now, or too soon will I be dead

The stars are the scattered moments of happiness that dimly light my night

They never seem to be enough to give me sight...